As mothers striving for academic and career success, we’re constantly told to seek that elusive “work-life balance.” But as I reveal in this blog post, the notion of perfectly balanced work and life is a myth – at least in the traditional sense. The demands of motherhood combined with the rigors of scholarly pursuits make balance feel impossible at times.
So how can we achieve our lofty goals without sacrificing our families or ourselves in the process? The answer lies in rethinking what true “balance” means and creating a lifestyle aligned with our priorities.
In this powerful podcast episode, I outline my revolutionary 10-S formula for making ambitious scholarly motherhood not just survivable but deeply fulfilling.
By the way, if you want to listen to the related podcast episode on this topic, please feel free to tune into the player below:
My 10-S Formula: Reimagining Work-Life Balance With A New Paradigm for Purposeful Success
S-1: Slow Down
Counter-intuitive as it may sound, the first step is slowing your pace. Academic culture often celebrates overwork, but operating at an unsustainable speed leads to burnout. Pulling back allows you to go further by maintaining energy and motivation for the long academic journey ahead, which can take years. Going “full throttle” from the start is a recipe for crashing. A slower, steadier approach provides the stamina to see your efforts through to completion.
S-2: Stabilise
When everything feels chaotic, stabilise by adjusting your schedule, offloading responsibilities for a season, or bringing in support. You cannot effectively navigate rough waters while frantically treading water. Imagine a boat being tossed in tumultuous seas – stabilising it by reducing motion is critical before charting any course. Similarly, you need stillness amidst the juggling act of scholarly motherhood to make thoughtful choices. You must first stabilise your rocking boat if you want to achieve a state of equilibrium on this journey.
S-3: Seek Support
Overachievers, and especially those that are also Mamas, often resist this step, believing we can “do it all” alone. But seeking practical and emotional help – from partners, family, mentors, or coaches – is a strength, not a weakness. You cannot sail this ship solo. Just as pilots call for help in turbulence and ships issue distress signals, Scholarly Mamas should be able to shamelessly ask for the support needed to protect their precious cargo – themselves, their loved ones and their scholarly goals. There is no badge of honour for navigating this path entirely alone.
S-4: Safety
Creating safety means radically accepting your circumstances without shame or guilt. It’s nurturing confidence in your worth beyond productivity metrics. Cultivate an environment that uplifts rather than threatens you. This may involve adjusting timelines, letting go of perfectionist tendencies, or dismantling self-criticism. Surrounding yourself with supportive people who understand this unique journey is key. From this nurturing space, you can approach the path ahead with calmness and pride.
Remember also that achieving your academic goals can help you create more financial safety for yourself and your family, but should never be at the expense thereof. Protect the assets!
S-5: Strategy
With a solid foundation, you can strategise realistic ways to juggle the moving pieces – exploring new perspectives and approaches through coaching or mentorship. Clarity is power. Don’t just react to academic demands as they arise. Pause to map out a thoughtful game-plan customised to your circumstances and priorities. Considering fresh strategies keeps you from defaulting to the overworked academic norm.
S-6: Solution
Using those strategies, craft a unique solution allowing career progress and family life satisfaction. Don’t accept the status quo if it doesn’t serve you. Customise a path aligned with your priorities. Be willing to rethink timelines, duties, or even your ultimate career path to create a lifestyle you deem truly balanced based on your values and dreams as a Scholarly Mama. There is no one-size-fits-all.
S-7: Sacrifice
There is always a cost to restructuring life for better work-life balance. Decide what you’re willing to sacrifice and what is non-negotiable. You cannot have or do it all seamlessly all of the time. Maybe those perfect housekeeping standards or extra social engagements have to go out of the window for a season. Perhaps it’s delaying certain career opportunities. Get clear on your priorities so you can make intentional sacrifices without regrets, holding firm to the non-negotiables like quality family time.
S-8: Start
With a purposeful plan in place, it’s time to take action and begin the journey of implementation. Thinking and strategising are critical, but execution is key. As you start actively aligning your daily life to the customised solution you’ve devised, check in regularly and make tweaks as needed. This is a journey of progress, not perfection. The key is to begin. The outcome is already decided if you never start, but once you begin, the possibilities are endless!
S-9: Sustain
Adopt a “little and often” approach rather than operating in burnout/recovery cycles. Celebrate small wins to maintain motivation as you make steady, sustainable progress beyond each deadline. By taking life at a more manageable pace, you avoid operating in the unhealthy pattern of pushing too hard toward one goal only to crash, then pushing too hard toward the next goal in an endless cycle of exhaustion. Instead, nurture a sustainable workflow that fuels lasting progress.
S-10: Success
When you’ve followed the first nine steps, genuine, holistic, purposeful success across your life domains becomes inevitable. Not just academic accolades, but a sense of fulfilment and thriving as scholar, mother, and partner. This is the true harmony so many Scholarly Mamas crave – looking back with no regrets, knowing you showed up fully in each role without sacrificing what mattered most. It’s leading a life of integrity according to your own values.
Debunking Work-Life Balance For Scholarly Mamas
The traditional idea of perfectly balanced “work” and “life” is a fallacy, especially for Scholarly Mamas. There will always be sacrifices and seasons of prioritising one area over others. But that doesn’t mean you can’t achieve harmonious, sustainable success wherein you’re truly present and fulfilled in all your roles.
By slowing down, stabilising your circumstances, seeking support shamelessly, and developing strategies customised to your unique priorities, you can craft a lifestyle that feels as rewarding on the inside as it looks from the outside. It will require making tough choices about what to sacrifice. But isn’t that preferable to the crushing guilt of surviving in perpetual overwhelm and disillusionment?
A Fresh Take On Work-Life Balance For Scholarly Mamas
The path won’t be perfect, but that’s okay. Perfection is impossible when navigating the intense demands of scholarly motherhood. What matters most is self-acceptance, leveraging help, celebrating small wins, and maintaining a sustainable pace. Approaching this journey intentionally upfront allows you to enjoy the day-to-day moments without regrets about what you missed while chasing an unrealistic vision of “balance.”
So reject the fairytale and get real about what harmonious success looks like for you. Implement this 10-S formula as a framework for making deliberate choices to thrive as both scholar and mother. The result will be a purposefully crafted life – one you can look back on with a profound sense of pride and fulfillment in all you achieved across your varied roles.
Remember Mama, these are our journeys of becoming!
Until next time, I’m sending you lots of love and gratitude,
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