Updated 10.4.23: Have you ever thought about what’s really holding you back from starting a new journey of becoming? A journey towards that ‘something’ you’ve always dreamt of accomplishing? A journey toward a life of deeper meaning, fulfilment and purpose?
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I was on my way home from London one evening in February 2020, and as I waited to board the tube (train) in the hustle and bustle of the evening rush hour, I had a teachable moment. One that spoke to me in such a way that I felt compelled to make it the subject of this blog post.
It was one of those ordinary occurrences that suddenly took on a whole new meaning.
A simple, reflective moment but yet so profound, confirming why I needed to step outside of my comfort zone to start this blog.
It’s actually one of the main reasons why I started the Mrs Mummy PhD blog.
Waiting with Intent vs. Complacency
I made my way along train platform through the busy crowd of commuters.
Quietly, I stood among what could easily have been 150+ anticipating passengers on the platform. And for the first time, I observed two distinct types of passengers waiting for the train.
Yes, we were all patiently waiting on the train platform, but what I have come to realise is that some of us were waiting with intent and others were waiting with complacency.
The first set of passengers that caught my attention were those standing against the sturdy back wall, away from the platform edge. In doing so, they gave themselves a birds’ eye view of the myriad of platform movements and interactions taking place.
Apart from offering a unique perspective of the platform activities, this ‘back wall position’, at the rear of the crowd, perhaps provided a sense of safety and protection from the perceived danger of the platform edge and the train tracks, which were just a few steps away.
Then there was a second group of passengers. Interestingly, they appeared to embrace the risk posed by standing in the front row of this crowd. They stood close, as if they were somehow guarding the platform edge.
They stood as close as possible to the yellow safety line, while remaining sensibly within the confines of it.
The Walkthrough
The hallowed space naturally created in between the two distinct lines of passengers provided a walk-through for fellow passengers approaching the busy platform.
These were the passengers who still had the option of which set of passengers they would join.
As those individuals strolled through this temporary but symbolic pathway of choice and decision, I found myself quietly observing these inadvertent public declarations, disguised as personal preferences.
Would they join the group at the back wall, opting for comfort and safety? Would they join the group at the front of the platform, closest to the train, with a firm determination to board?
One thing was for certain, the train would eventually approach the platform to take us all to our various destinations, along our divergent journeys to wherever we were going.
Where Did I Position Myself?
You would probably have noticed that I haven’t yet revealed in which line I found myself. And this was indeed the critically reflective moment. I chose the back wall as my preferred waiting position.
As an introvert, I am not one to put myself ‘out there’ and often prefer to dissolve into the background. I am usually content to occupy the birds’ eye, observer perspective. But what was the impact of this preference?
A few minutes in, the train arrived.
It was indeed a busy evening rush hour in the buzzing city of London. So as expected, it was a crowded train with almost no available standing room, as is fairly typical for that time of day.
When The Light Bulb Switched On
So, here came the light bulb moment.
The brave souls who positioned themselves at the front of the platform were the ones who made it onto that train.
Those of us who opted to stand at the back wall, did not make it.
This for me was a reflection of how the simple, seemingly inconsequential but subconscious choices we make on a day to day basis, rooted in comfort and risk aversion, affect the daily outcomes of our lives and indeed our futures.
I was in no rush and was completely okay to wait another few minutes for the next train. But I reflected for a moment, and not on the actual outcome of whether I made it onto the train. I reflected on why I made the choice to stand by the back wall. What does it say about my attitude to taking a risk and putting myself forward?
It was in this teachable moment that my reflections emerged.
The Teachable Moment
Among other things, that train represented an opportunity.
It represented an opportunity to go on that journey we’ve long been dreaming of. Or that path we’ve envisioned for ourselves. Perhaps that new beginning we’ve imagined or that over contemplated goal we’ve kept putting off.
As you will come to know, I am a huge fan of celebrating the journey. I embrace everything that comes along with the process of that journey, rather than just glorifying the destination in itself.
But what this moment taught me is that nothing will happen at the back wall.
That’s the comfort zone. No growth happens there.
It reminded me that simply observing, without purposeful intent and subsequent action, will lead to nowhere.
In order to get onto that train, in order to be in a position to see the opportunity and the possibilities when they are presented to us, one must take a step forward. We must embrace the perceived risk with hope, faith and optimism and position ourselves with boldness.
You Can Be Bold and Discerning
Of course, one should be wise, exercising discernment in all our decisions.
I am in no way advocating reckless choices or behaviours. Often times, however, it’s the perception of risk combined with complacency in our comfort zones that can really hold us back from pursuing our dreams by embracing an opportunity.
It’s the illusion of safety of the back wall that keeps us from positioning ourselves to get on that train.
The interesting thing is that at this point, the final destination is irrelevant.
It doesn’t matter whether you’re headed north, south, east or west. With a good sense of direction and knowing your options, you can always get where you want to go from where you are.
In other words, other opportunities will present themselves that lead you to your ultimate destination, but the first and critical step is to ensure you position yourself to get on that train.
Where Will You Stand?
Where will you position yourself?
Which line of passenger will you decide to be?
We all have to make this choice.
Will we put ourselves forward, consciously embrace the risk, see the opportunity and begin that journey of becoming?
Or will we stay close to the back wall? Will we simply observe as the train arrives and then departs the platform?
In reality, most of us are probably a bit of both, depending on the context of the decision to be made.
But this was a timely reminder that these mundane choices do matter and a necessary change in mindset can make the difference between taking a bold step that can change your life for the better and staying within your comfort zone.
I must admit that I have had to ‘dig deep’ on many occasions to lift myself out of my comfort zone mindset and on-board that train towards a goal. In essence, to begin a journey of becoming.
It’s not easy to put yourself forward, I get that. But nothing worth having is easy anyways.
Having said that, you can see that it’s counter-productive to stay at the back wall, just observing without purposeful action.
So, give yourself permission to do better, take that leap of faith! Register for that course, pursue that career, start that business, or pursue that dream! Conquering your fears will give you the best possible opportunity to find your purpose, realise your dreams and transform your life.
Over to You
Have you had any of these simple but profound teachable moments?
What did you learn?
Are you hoping to begin a journey to somewhere or something that requires a mindset change?
What’s holding you back from intentionally placing yourself in the line of opportunity?
What’s keeping you in your comfort zone?
Share your experiences in the comments below!
Remember, these are our journeys of becoming 🙂
With much love and best wishes,
Food for thought 💭
So happy to hear it’s been helpful for reflection!
Thank you so much for this post. Much food for thought indeed! Where do we stand when going forth to accomplish things? Are we intentional with our actions and do we lag behind.
I tend to be intentional but then get shot down as if in an old fashioned video game. Pushing on in spite of that is hard.
Thank you so much. Yes, I know sometimes dealing with the negativity and doubt all around us, which is so unhelpful, is really difficult. Especially when we’ve worked so hard to put ourselves out there in the first place. But I encourage you to continue to do the things you are called to do to live in your purpose…Not everyone will see your vision, but this doesn’t mean you aren’t serving others!
Absolutely loved this article. I really want to be the person at the front. But it’s scary. Betting on yourself is scary… So many unknown factors. But I guess there is also growth and a bit of excitement in the unknown…
Hmmmm
Thank you Tanya! I agree that it’s definitely scary to take risks, do something different and step out into the unknown, especially when naturally risk adverse but like you also said, there could be the potential for growth there. The one sure thing is that we will never know if we never try.