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Journeys of Becoming...

“Mama, Take a Break!”: The Power of the Reflective Pause

July 29, 2024 · Personal Growth & Wellness, PhD & Beyond

take a break | "Mama, Take a Break!": The Power of the Reflective Pause by Mrs Mummy PhD

Is it time to take a break, Mama? In the whirlwind of academic pursuits and family life, Scholarly Mamas often find themselves running on empty, desperately needing to take a break but feeling guilty at the mere thought. If you’re juggling a PhD programme, research deadlines, and family responsibilities, the idea of pausing might seem impossible. However, taking a break—specifically, a reflective pause—could be the game-changing strategy you need to navigate these challenges and emerge stronger. Let’s explore this in this blog post.

By the way, if you’d rather listen to this as a podcast on this topic, feel free to use either of the players below:

The Multifaceted Life of a Scholarly Mama

Before we delve into why you should take a break, let’s acknowledge the unique challenges faced by academic mothers. The life of a Scholarly Mama is multidimensional, encompassing various roles and responsibilities:

  1. Academic pursuits: Meeting PhD deadlines, writing theses, conducting studies, and analysing data.
  2. Family responsibilities: Navigating bedtimes, dealing with illnesses, managing tantrums, and keeping the little ones entertained.
  3. Personal growth: Maintaining your identity, pursuing your passions, and caring for your well-being.

With so many plates spinning simultaneously, it’s no wonder that many Scholarly Mamas find themselves teetering on the edge of burnout. The constant pressure to excel in all areas of life can lead to feelings of inadequacy, guilt, and even imposter syndrome.

Common Challenges: Why Scholarly Mamas Need to Take a Break

To truly appreciate the value of taking a break, it’s essential to recognise the common challenges that academic mothers face:

  1. Overwhelming workload: Juggling academic research, writing, and deadlines with family responsibilities.
  2. Unexpected parental challenges: Dealing with health issues, family emergencies, or changes in routine.
  3. Research roadblocks: Feeling stuck in your PhD journey, experiencing writer’s block, or lacking inspiration.
  4. Guilt and inadequacy: Struggling with feelings of not being “good enough” in either academic or family life.
  5. Fatigue and burnout:: Experiencing a decline in motivation and energy due to constant demands.
  6. Identity crisis: Navigating the dual identities of PhD candidate and mother.
  7. Career uncertainty: Worrying about post-PhD career options and their impact on family life.
  8. Conflicting goals: Balancing personal aspirations with academic objectives.
  9. Neglected self-care: Prioritising academic and family needs over personal well-being.
  10. Lack of boundaries: Struggling to separate work and home life effectively.
  11. Isolation: Feeling alone in the journey of academic motherhood.
  12. Financial stress: Dealing with the uncertainty of future employment and family stability.
  13. Imposter syndrome: Comparing yourself to others and doubting your abilities.
  14. Academic landscape challenges: Navigating a system that may not always accommodate the needs of mothers.
  15. Life transitions: Coping with significant changes such as moving, welcoming a new child, or relationship shifts.

The Power of Taking a Break: Introducing the Reflective Pause

In the face of these challenges, taking a break emerges as a powerful tool for Scholarly Mamas. But this isn’t just any break—we’re talking about a reflective pause. So, what exactly is a reflective pause, and how can it help?

A reflective pause is a deliberate break from the chaos of daily life, allowing you to step back, breathe, and gain perspective on your journey. It’s not just about taking a physical break (although that can be part of it), but more importantly, it’s about creating mental space for reflection, evaluation, and strategic thinking.

Why This Matters for Scholarly Mamas:

  1. Clarity and Focus: By stepping away from immediate pressures, you can gain clarity on your priorities and focus on what truly matters.
  2. Informed Decision-Making: Taking a break allows you to make more thoughtful decisions about your academic and personal life.
  3. Resilience Building: Pausing helps you develop strategies to overcome challenges and build resilience.
  4. Stress Reduction: Regular breaks can significantly reduce stress levels and prevent burnout.
  5. Improved Self-Awareness: Taking time out fosters a deeper understanding of your needs, values, and goals.
  6. Enhanced Problem-Solving: A calm, reflective state often leads to more creative and effective problem-solving.
  7. Renewed Motivation: Stepping back can help you reconnect with your passion and motivation for your academic pursuits.
  8. Better Work-Life Integration: Taking a break can help you find ways to better integrate your academic and family life.

How to Take a Break: Implementing the Reflective Pause

Implementing a reflective pause in your busy life as a Scholarly Mama may seem challenging, but it’s crucial for long-term success and well-being. Here are some strategies to incorporate this powerful practice into your routine:

  1. Schedule It: Block out time in your diary specifically for taking a break. Treat it as you would any other important appointment.
  2. Create a Ritual: Develop a personal ritual around your break. This could involve journaling, meditation, or simply sitting quietly with your thoughts.
  3. Find Your Space: Identify a physical space where you can retreat for your reflective pause, free from distractions.
  4. Start Small: Begin with short, frequent breaks rather than aiming for long periods of reflection right away.
  5. Use Prompts: Prepare reflection prompts or questions to guide your thoughts during your pause.
  6. Practice Mindfulness: Incorporate mindfulness techniques to help you stay present and focused during your reflection time.
  7. Involve Others: Consider sharing your practice of taking breaks with other Scholarly Mamas for mutual support and accountability.

Key Areas to Focus on When You Take a Break

During your reflective pause, consider focusing on these key areas:

  1. Academic Progress: Assess your research goals, methodologies, and overall progress in your PhD journey.
  2. Personal Well-being: Evaluate your self-care practices and identify areas for improvement.
  3. Family Dynamics: Reflect on your family relationships and how to nurture them alongside your academic pursuits.
  4. Career Aspirations: Consider your long-term career goals and how they align with your personal values.
  5. Time Management:: Analyse your current time allocation and identify opportunities for better efficiency.
  6. Support Systems: Evaluate your current support network and consider ways to strengthen or expand it.
  7. Personal Growth: Reflect on your personal development and identify areas where you’d like to grow.

Overcoming Obstacles to Taking a Break

Even with the best intentions, Scholarly Mamas may face obstacles in implementing regular breaks. Here are some common challenges and how to overcome them:

  1. Guilt: Remind yourself that taking time for reflection ultimately benefits both your academic work and your family.
  2. Time Constraints: Start with small pockets of break time and gradually increase as you see the benefits.
  3. Distractions: Create a distraction-free environment for your reflective pause, even if it means waking up earlier or staying up a bit later.
  4. Lack of Structure: Use guided reflection tools or journaling prompts to provide structure to your break time.
  5. Resistance to Slowing Down: Recognise that slowing down periodically can actually increase your overall productivity and well-being.

The Transformative Impact of Taking Regular Breaks

By incorporating regular reflective pauses into your life as a Scholarly Mama, you can experience transformative benefits:

  1. Increased Confidence: Regular breaks help build self-trust and confidence in your abilities.
  2. Improved Decision-Making: You’ll make more aligned choices that honour both your academic and personal priorities.
  3. Enhanced Productivity: Clarity gained through reflection often leads to more focused and efficient work.
  4. Better Work-Life Integration: You’ll find more creative ways to blend your academic and family life harmoniously.
  5. Reduced Stress and Overwhelm: Regular pauses help prevent the build-up of stress and overwhelm.
  6. Stronger Relationships: Taking breaks can lead to more intentional and fulfilling relationships with family and colleagues.
  7. Greater Sense of Purpose: You’ll maintain a stronger connection to your “why” – the reasons you embarked on this academic journey.

Conclusion: Embracing the Power of Taking a Break

As a Scholarly Mama, you have the strength and capability to excel in both your academic pursuits and family life. Taking a break through a reflective pause is a powerful tool that can help you navigate the challenges, overcome overwhelm, and thrive in your unique journey.

Remember, taking time to pause and reflect isn’t a luxury – it’s a necessity for your success and well-being. By embracing the power of taking a break, you’re not just surviving the juggle struggle; you’re positioning yourself for purposeful success and scholarly joy.

So, Mama, give yourself the gift of reflection. Take that break, create that space, and watch as clarity, confidence, and purpose bloom in both your academic and personal life. Your journey of becoming is unique and valuable – honour it by learning to take a break and harness the power of the reflective pause.

Remember Mama, these are our journeys of becoming!

Until next time, I’m sending you lots of love and gratitude!

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Meet Mrs Mummy PhD®

Hey! I'm Dr Michelle Gibbs and this little corner of the internet exists to help ambitious Mamas like you, achieve your life and academic goals without sacrificing what matters most. If you're juggling family, career, academia and everything else in-between, then it's time to say 'yes' to savouring the moments that truly matter, while doing what sets your heart on fire! So Mama, are you in? Fabulous! These are our journeys of becoming :-)

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