Is a restful holiday season just a pipe dream for Scholarly Mamas?
Picture this: You’re standing in your kitchen, research papers scattered across the table like autumn leaves, a half-decorated Christmas tree twinkling in the corner, and your children’s laughter echoing from another room. In that moment, you feel it – the crushing weight of academic pressure colliding with the tender pull of motherhood.
Stop. Just stop.
This is your permission slip to breathe, to rest, and to be fully, gloriously human during this holiday season. That is, if a restful holiday season is on your list, of course!
By the way, if you prefer to listen to the podcast episode that accompanies this blog post, please feel free to use the player below:
As a Scholarly Mama who was once in the PhD trenches too, I’ve navigated multiple holiday seasons while juggling the demands of academic life and motherhood. Each year, as we hang ornaments on our Christmas tree, I’m reminded of the rollercoaster journey that brought me here. Those twinkling lights and precious decorations aren’t just holiday cheer – they’re tiny rebellions against the relentless academic pressure we often feel.
When The Hidden Weight of Academic Guilt Threatens Your Restful Holiday Season
We’ve all been there – when those magical holiday moments start to feel overshadowed by the mountain of work waiting for us after the celebrations. How the dreaded “what happens when PhD life begins again” thoughts creep in just as you’re trying to enjoy family time.
But here’s something that took me far too long to understand: your worth isn’t measured by your publication record, conference presentations, or the number of pages in your thesis. Mama, you are so much more than your academic journey.
Three Strategic Approaches to a Restful Holiday Season
Let me share three practical strategies that have helped me prioritise what matters most without letting academic guilt consume my holiday joy.
1. The Two-Hour PhD Boundary
If you absolutely must work during the holidays (though I always tried not to), implement what I call the “two-hour PhD boundary.” Consider implementing this strategy by:
- Choosing a specific time window for your work (e.g., 9-11 AM while kids watch a movie, or 8-10 PM after bedtime)
- When that timer goes off, close everything – no sneak peeks or mental drafting
- Be fully present with your family for the remaining hours
This isn’t about doing less or lowering standards – it’s about being strategically focused and intentionally present.
2. The Meaningful Moments Tracker
Create a simple system to track the meaningful moments that unfold during your holiday break:
- You can use a small notebook or your phone
- Each day, write down one meaningful moment with your family
- It could be something small (your toddler’s laugh during cookie decorating) or something more significant (a heart-to-heart conversation with your partner)
This practice serves two powerful purposes: it forces you to be present, and it creates a beautiful memory log that’s worth far more than any academic achievement.
3. The Compassionate Calendar
Before the holiday season hits full swing, block out non-negotiable family time in your calendar. Here’s the radical part: treat these appointments with the same importance as meetings with your PhD supervisor. Would you cancel on your PhD supervisor? Probably not. Apply the same commitment to your family time.
Schedule and protect:
- Movie nights
- Cookie baking sessions
- Evening walks
- Holiday activities
- Family visits
Remember, these strategies aren’t about perfection – they’re about intentional, grace-filled presence.
Your Restful Holiday Season Manifesto
Let’s create a new narrative for Scholarly Mamas® this holiday season:
- Cuddle with your kids without your laptop in sight
- Savour that extra cup of your favourite hot drink
- Watch holiday movies without feeling the need to multitask
- Give yourself the gift of grace
Remember why you began this Scholarly Mama journey in the first place. You started this path to make a difference, to grow, and to show your children what passionate pursuit looks like. But passion doesn’t mean burnout. Passion doesn’t mean perpetual exhaustion. And passion certainly doesn’t mean an absence of rest.
Beyond Christmas: A Year-Round Approach to Rest
Even if Christmas isn’t your kind of celebration, the principle remains the same: at some point during the year, make time for:
- Self-care
- Rest
- Connection
- Relationships that bring you joy
- People who support your challenging journey of Scholarly Motherhood
Embracing the Present Moment
Your Scholarly Mama journey is beautiful, messy, and absolutely worth it. But who says it can’t be overflowing with joy and peace too? Your research matters – of course it does – but so do you, Mama. So do you!
As you navigate this holiday season, remember that you’re not just working toward a degree; you’re living a whole Scholarly Mama life. Those scattered papers on your kitchen table? They can wait. The half-decorated tree? It’s perfect in its imperfection. And those precious sounds of your children’s laughter? That’s the tune of a life well-lived.
Take this holiday season to unwrap the greatest gift of all – permission to be present, to rest, and to embrace the beautiful chaos of being a Scholarly Mama. Because in the end, these aren’t just moments we’re creating; they’re memories that will last far longer than any academic achievement.
Remember, mama: You are enough. Today, tomorrow, and always.
So here’s to finding more joy and peace this holiday season, one precious moment at a time. May you rest well, love deeply, and remember that your journey is so much more than the sum of your academic accomplishments.
Remember, these are our journeys of becoming!
Much love and gratitude to you Mama,
Leave a Reply