“I need more productivity hacks!… If only I could just wake up at 4 AM… I wish I could just time-block everything… If only I could just find the right morning routine…”
Sound familiar?
As academic mothers pursuing PhDs, we often find ourselves chasing the next productivity tool, hoping it will be the key to balancing our academic pursuits with motherhood. But here’s a truth that might surprise you: finishing your PhD well isn’t hidden in another productivity tip or time management strategy.
Don’t get me wrong – time management and productivity matter. But when you’re drowning in overwhelm, when you’re feeling stuck despite your best efforts, these traditionally masculine approaches to success, i.e. more productivity hacks, aren’t going to be the solution you’re looking for. There’s a deeper issue we need to address, especially for Scholarly Mamas juggling academic pursuits with family life.
By the way, if you prefer to listen to me talk about this as a podcast, feel free to tune into the Mrs Mummy PhD® Podcast where you usually get your podcasts, or listen using the player below:
Let me paint you a picture: During my PhD, I was presenting at a departmental seminar when messages started flooding in. One son’s school needed something urgent, and the other had a fever – everything was going wrong all at once. This was back when there were just the two older boys before we had our third. I knew in that moment, that no productivity app in the world could have helped me navigate that situation with grace.
Here’s the uncomfortable truth Mama: You’re not struggling because you don’t know how to be productive. You’ve made it this far in your academic journey – clearly, you know something about being productive and getting things done. The real challenge is that you’re trying to fit your beautiful, messy Mama life into an academic system that wasn’t designed for mothers. It’s a system built on masculine energy: linear progress, rigid structures, and constant output.
So today, let’s flip the script on everything you’ve been told about productivity and success in academia. What you need isn’t another colour-coded schedule or time-blocking technique. Instead of more productivity hacks, here are the essential elements that Scholarly Mamas need:
1. A New Definition of Progress
Let me share a story about watching my sons learn to ride their bicycles.
My dad taught me to ride my bicycle when I was quite young and I have so many fond memories of riding my bike up and down the roads near my childhood home in Barbados with my cousins! Oh Mama, those were the good old days :-).
Now I get to see my sons learn to ride their bikes and it takes me right back to my childhood adventures. I have watched them learn to navigate their biker skill development to become competent riders. This reminds me of how it feels when you’re learning a new skill, system or practice.
Some days, they’d zoom ahead with perfect balance and confidence. Other days, they’d need to go back to their training wheels. But here’s the beautiful thing – they still found their way to becoming confident riders.
Your PhD journey with kids is remarkably similar. There will be days when you’re on an amazing roll – the words are flowing, everything’s clicking, the logistics all work out and progress feels substantial. Then there are days when family needs take centre stage, and traditional progress seems ‘slower’. But here’s what I want to offer. I want to propose to you that both types of progress are equally valid.
This is what embracing feminine energy looks like – honouring those natural ebbs and flows rather than forcing constant forward momentum and output. Remember, you can’t have momentum without inertia. I talked about this in a recent post, when I shared what saved me when I was stuck in a cycle of overwhelm. Those slower periods are just as crucial to your journey as the productive spurts.
2. Permission to Work in the Margins
During my thesis editing and PhD viva prep, I would scribble notes all over the margins of my printed pages. Those margin notes were so crucial to my success. They helped me explain concepts, defend decisions, and remember key points during my PhD viva. It allowed me to defend my PhD thesis with confidence, grit and grace.
Similarly, Scholarly Mamas need to embrace working in the margins of life. This may mean utilising those precious minutes between school runs, during lunch breaks, or in the quiet moments after bedtime. These aren’t less valuable than long, uninterrupted work periods – they’re equally golden opportunities for progress.
3. Radical Self-Compassion
When I say radical self-compassion, I’m not talking about surface-level self-care like spa days (though those are nice too). I’m talking about the kind of self-compassion that stands tall when academic guilt comes knocking at your door. Believe me, it will come.
It’s the self-compassion that says:
- “Yes, I’m going to miss the departmental party for my child’s school play, and that doesn’t make me less committed to my research.”
- “I’m going to spend this time with my kids because this isn’t procrastination – it’s necessary recalibration for our whole family.”
- “It’s okay that I didn’t write today because my family needed me. I’ll devote time to it tomorrow.”
This type of self-compassion releases us from the constant burden of feeling like we should always be doing more, being more, producing more. I’m talking about the kind of radical self-compassion that grants us the permission we need to just BE.
4. Strategic Support Systems
While childcare is crucial, Scholarly Mamas need much more than that. You need a network of other academic mothers who understand your unique journey – people who get equally excited about your theoretical framework breakthrough AND your child’s first steps or school performance.
What you do need are mentors who respect that your path looks different and value the unique perspective you bring as a mother. You need a space where you can be your whole self without apologising for having family commitments.
This is why we created our Scholarly Mamas community. You should have been at our recent Scholarly Mama Circle – it was amazing how we all just got it, without having to explain much. We understood each other’s journeys, approaching everything from a place of inspiration and encouragement rather than competition or judgment. This is feminine energy in action. It’s about building connections, supporting each other, and creating spaces where we can be free to love our whole selves.
5. Recognition of Your Unique Strengths
We open the doors to purposeful success when we stop apologising for being mothers in academia and start recognising how motherhood enriches our scholarly work. Your capacity for nurturing doesn’t make you a less serious academic – it makes you a more innovative, introspective one. Your ability to manage multiple needs and energy levels makes you exceptionally qualified to handle complex research projects and concepts.
Remember, you’re not just working on a PhD – you’re raising children who will grow up knowing that mothers are powerful, intelligent, and capable of amazing things. They’re watching you turn chaos into creation, juggle multiple demands, and embrace your whole self while pursuing your dreams.
This is worth so much more than all the productivity hacks in the world combined. Because success in academia as a mother isn’t about forcing yourself into rigid systems or finding the perfect morning routine. It’s about embracing your feminine wisdom, honouring your natural rhythms, and recognising that your journey might look different – and that’s okay.
So the next time you’re tempted to hunt for the latest productivity app or sign up for another time management webinar, pause and ask yourself: Is this what I really need right now to move the needle forward? Or do I simply need permission to finish my PhD the feminine way?
More Than Productivity Hacks: Join ‘Scholarly Mamas OPT’
We’re about to launch our 8-week writing retreat/ programme, called “Operation PhD Thesis” where we’ll dive deeper into all of these concepts and more. Be sure to jump on the waitlist!
Your journey of becoming Dr [insert your name here] doesn’t have to cost you what matters most. It’s possible to achieve academic success while honouring your whole self – not through more productivity hacks, but through embracing a completely different approach to success altogether.
Until next time Mama, sending you lots of love and gratitude.
Best wishes,
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