Hey there, Scholarly Mama! If you’re feeling overwhelmed by the juggling act of motherhood and your PhD journey, you’re not alone. I’ve been there, and I want to share my experience of how I went from PhD panic to purposeful progress on part-time hours. Let’s dive in and explore how you can achieve your academic goals without sacrificing what matters most.
By the way, if you prefer to listen to the podcast episode on this topic, feel free to use the free player below:
PhD Panic and The Pressure to Sprint: A Common PhD Dilemma
When I was about to begin my PhD journey, I faced a crucial decision: should I pursue my doctorate full-time and finish faster, or take the part-time route and take longer to finish? Like many of you, I felt the weight of expectations pressing down on me. The academic world often pushes us to publish, present, and push forward at breakneck speed. Add to that the demands of motherhood and part-time work, and it’s no wonder so many of us feel like we’re drowning.
I vividly remember the fear of making the wrong choice. Would I be left behind if I chose the part-time path? Would I be perceived as less committed or capable? These worries are all too common, especially when we’re surrounded by colleagues who don’t have the same family responsibilities.
Choosing the Slow Lane When in PhD Panic Mode: A Courageous Decision
Despite the pressure, I made the bold choice to pursue my PhD part-time. And you know what? It was the best decision I ever made. Here’s why:
- Presence for Life’s Precious Moments: By taking the slower route, I could be there for my children’s milestones, savour bedtime stories, and find joy in the everyday moments of motherhood.
- Clarity and Focus: Slowing down allowed me to engage more deeply with my research, developing unique perspectives on blending academic pursuits with real life as a working Mama.
- Personal Growth: The part-time journey gave me space to evolve and grow both as a researcher and as a mother.
Remember, Mama, it’s okay to choose the slow lane if it suits your circumstances. In fact, it can be a path to both success and fulfillment.
From PhD Panic to Purposeful Progress: Key Takeaways
Let’s break down the three crucial lessons I learned on my journey from PhD panic to purposeful progress on part-time hours:
1. Define Success on Your Own Terms
Success isn’t just about how quickly you finish your PhD or how many papers you publish. It’s about the quality of your work and the quality of your life. When you define success for yourself, you position yourself for what I call “purposeful success.”
Purposeful success begins with purposeful decisions. Ask yourself:
- What do I want to achieve?
- What path will get me there in a way that works for my circumstances?
- How can I progress without burning out or sacrificing joy and peace of mind?
Focus first on purposeful decisions and then on purposeful progress, not just reaching the destination. It’s about the journey, the lessons learned, and the personal growth you gain along the way.
2. Embrace Your Unique Perspective
Your experiences as a Mama enrich your academic journey. Don’t hide them – celebrate them! Embrace your whole being: wife, Mama, PhD student, professional. Your unique perspective is valuable, offering insights that others in academia might not have.
I remember conversations in the office where my colleagues valued the wisdom and life experience I brought to the table. It was a mutual exchange to be fair but I was not prepared to deny my whole self for the sake of fitting in. Don’t pretend to be something you’re not. Be proud of your identity as a Scholarly Mama and own it.
3. Build a Supportive Network
This was the one thing I struggled with during my PhD journey, and it’s a big reason why I created the Scholarly Mamas community. Surrounding yourself with people who understand your journey is invaluable.
Whether it’s through my podcast, my Scholarly Mama community, my OPTIMUM 1:1 coaching programme, I am grateful to be a vessel through which these opportunities can help you reach your goals. When we win where it matters as Scholarly Mamas, everyone wins.
Navigating Challenges: A Personal Story of PhD Panic
Let me share a personal experience that illustrates the challenges we face and how we can choose purposeful progress over PhD panic.
When I returned from one of my maternity leaves (yes, I had two of our three sons during my PhD!), we had arranged for our son to start nursery. Within the first month, he caught every illness under the sun – conjunctivitis, hand-foot-mouth disease, flu, tummy bugs, you name it!
I had just resumed my PhD, but I was like a ghost in the office because I was home with my sick son. On my next thesis progress report after that, it was noted that I was “struggling with blending my PhD and personal commitments.”
At first, I felt misunderstood and discouraged. But then, I felt a surge of determination. Yes, I was struggling, but this was part of my personal growth. I refused to believe it was impossible for me to get through it. I told myself, “There is a way, I just need to find it.”
And you know what? I did find a way. I still finished my PhD… and I finished it well.
Embracing All Feelings, Choosing Positive Behaviours
Here’s a valuable lesson I’ve learned from another podcast recently and even shared with my son: “All feelings are welcome, but not all behaviors are”. It’s okay to feel frustrated, sad, or overwhelmed. But the moment your brain starts telling you lies about what’s possible or what you’re capable of, that’s when you need to pause.
Acknowledge your feelings, but don’t let them determine your future. Your brain can’t engage with solutions if you’ve already decided it’s hopeless. You’ve got this!
The Reality of Part-Time PhD Progress
Now, let’s talk about what part-time PhD progress really looks like. It’s not always a smooth, linear journey. There will be times when you need to push harder and put in more hours into your PhD, and other times when you can pull back and focus on other aspects of your life.
I remember sitting in the office, watching colleagues come and go, starting and finishing their PhDs while I was still there. It’s easy in those moments to think, “Maybe I’m not cut out for this. Maybe this isn’t for me.” But here’s the truth: your journey is unique, and comparison is the thief of joy.
Remember, you’re not just a PhD student. You’re a Mama, possibly a wife/partner, maybe even working part-time. You’re juggling multiple roles, and that’s something to be proud of, not ashamed of.
Reframing the PhD Journey
Instead of seeing your part-time status as a limitation, try reframing it as an opportunity. Here’s how:
- Depth of Experience: The longer timeframe allows you to dig deeper into your research, potentially leading to more insightful findings.
- Real-World Application: Your experiences outside academia can inform your research in unique ways, bringing fresh perspectives to your field.
- Resilience Building: Navigating the challenges of balancing academia and family life builds incredible resilience and problem-solving skills.
- Personal Growth: The journey allows for significant personal development alongside your academic growth.
Practical Tips for Purposeful Progress
So, how do you make purposeful progress on part-time hours? Here are some practical tips:
- Set Realistic Goals: Break your PhD into smaller, manageable tasks. Celebrate each milestone, no matter how small.
- Create a Flexible Schedule: Plan your work around your family commitments, but be ready to adapt when unexpected things come up (like sick kids!).
- Communicate Openly: Keep your supervisors informed about your circumstances. Most are understanding and can offer valuable support.
- Maximise Productive Times: Identify your most productive hours and protect them fiercely for focused work.
- Embrace Technology: Use tools like reference managers, project management apps, and cloud storage to stay organised and work efficiently.
- Practice Self-Care: Remember, you can’t pour from an empty cup. Make time for activities that recharge you.
The Power of Mindset to Quiet the PhD Panic
Your mindset is perhaps your most powerful tool in this journey. When you shift from PhD panic to a growth mindset, you open yourself up to possibilities. Instead of thinking, “I can’t do this because I’m a Mama,” try, “How can I do this as a Mama?”
This shift in thinking doesn’t magically make the challenges disappear, but it does empower you to face them head-on. It allows you to see setbacks as learning opportunities and slow progress as deep engagement rather than failure.
A Message to the Overwhelmed Scholarly Mama
If you’re in the thick of PhD panic right now, feeling the pressure to conform to unrealistic expectations, I want you to know: it’s okay to slow down. It’s okay to do this journey on part-time hours, even if that’s just for a season.
Open your mind to the possibilities of how you can navigate this challenging time. Find ways to get through this busy season, get back on track, and position yourself to see this journey through in a sustainable way.
Remember, you can still make purposeful progress on part-time hours, even if you’re juggling multiple responsibilities and can’t dedicate as much time to your PhD as others might.
Conclusion: Your Journey of Becoming
Your path as a Scholarly Mama is unique, challenging, and incredibly rewarding. By defining success on your terms, embracing your perspective, and building a supportive network, you can transform PhD panic into purposeful progress.
Remember, academia needs your voice, your perspective, and your brilliance. You are an intelligent, ambitious, Scholarly Mama. It’s okay to pursue your goals in a way that works for you.
As you navigate this journey, be proud of yourself. Be proud of the Mama, the researcher, and the person you’re becoming. Focus on purposeful progress, and know that you’re capable of achieving great things – on your own terms and in your own time.
When you look back on your PhD journey, you’ll see more than just an academic achievement. You’ll see a testament to your resilience, creativity, and determination. You’ll see a journey that has shaped not just your career, but your entire life.
So, Mama, embrace your unique path. Trust in your ability to make purposeful progress, even when it feels slow. Your journey is valid, your voice is needed, and your success is defined by you.
Until next time, stay encouraged, and keep making that purposeful progress. You’ve got this, Mama!
Remember, these are our journeys of becoming!
With lots of love and gratitude,
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