As I sit down to write this blog post, I’m filled with a mix of emotions reflecting on my PhD graduation in July 2024. From the pre-ceremony preparations to the final celebration dinner in Barbados, each moment has been precious and meaningful. I want to share this experience with you, especially if you’re a Mama on a PhD journey, because I know how much it means to see others succeed and know that it’s possible for you too.
This blog post will be a mixture of memories, reflections, tips and insights but I hope as you read (or listen to the podcast episodes shared throughout), you will take something useful away that will inspire your own Scholarly Mama journey.
The Preparation Phase: Getting Ready for the Big Day
After completing my PhD last year (2023), I had initially been scheduled to graduate in January 2024. However, I made the conscious decision to delay it until summer for better weather – a decision that would prove fortuitous as my graduation day turned out to be the warmest day of the year in London!
If you wish to listen to me talk about this on my podcast, I’ve created a 3-part PLOG on this (think vlog but on a podcast). Please feel free to use the player below or tune in to the Mrs Mummy PhD® Podcast wherever you usually get your podcasts. Tune into Part 1 of the PhD Graduation PLOG below:
The Practical Preparations
The preparation phase involved several key steps:
- Booking the Ceremony: This was the first major task, including securing my own place and booking tickets for my husband and children.
- Organising the Regalia: I had to arrange the rental of my doctoral gown through the university’s designated supplier. Initially, I planned to rent it just for the ceremony but later decided to extend the rental for a week to allow for additional photo opportunities.
- Planning the Outfits: While I chose to wear a dress I already owned, we needed to purchase new outfits for the boys. Pro tip: When planning graduation outfits, consider the weather and comfort – especially if you’re having a summer graduation!
- Travel Arrangements: As a family of five, we needed to plan our journey carefully. Here’s a valuable lesson learned: always plan for contingencies. We missed our intended train, but because we’d built in buffer time, we still arrived with plenty of time to spare.
The PhD Graduation Day: A Dream Realised
Morning Emotions
I woke up that morning feeling what I can only describe as “excitedly nervous.” The whole family had taken the day off – my husband from work, the boys from school and nursery – making it truly a family celebration day. Everything had been prepared the night before: clothes ironed, bags packed, and schedules planned.
Again, if you wish to listen to me talk about this on my podcast, I’ve created a 3-part PLOG on this (think vlog but on a podcast). Please feel free to use the player below or tune in to the Mrs Mummy PhD® Podcast wherever you usually get your podcasts. Part 2 of the PhD Graduation PLOG is below:
At the PhD Graduation Venue
Arriving at the venue, the organisation was impressive despite the large number of graduates. Everything was signposted and well-structured making it easy to navigate the crowd and find my way to the various stations. This included:
- Designated times for collecting tickets and gowns
- Specific seating arrangements for both graduates and guests
- Clear instructions for the ceremony proceedings
One thing I hadn’t anticipated was the long queue for professional photos. In the end, I couldn’t bear to stand in the long queue for these. This is what led to my decision to extend my gown rental – sometimes you need to be flexible with your plans!
The PhD Graduation Ceremony: A Moment of Pride
The ceremony itself was a profound experience. As a doctoral graduate, we wore different coloured gowns from the undergraduate and master’s graduates – a visual reminder of the journey we’d completed. The butterflies in my stomach intensified as they called our row to prepare for the stage walk.
Here’s a practical tip that saved me: bring flat shoes! I only wore my heels for the actual stage walk, keeping comfortable in flats for the rest of the day. This was especially welcome given the heat and the weight of the doctoral gown.
The moment of walking across the stage passed in what felt like seconds, yet it represented eight years of hard work, determination, and perseverance. I remembered to smile and even managed to wave to my family in the audience. It felt natural, right, and incredibly fulfilling. What an amazing feeling!
The Significance of Academic Regalia
One aspect of the graduation that really struck me was the doctoral gown. Despite the heat and weight, wearing it felt incredibly right. The distinct colour that distinguished PhD graduates from others wasn’t just about aesthetics – it represented years of dedication, countless late nights, and the highest level of academic achievement.
During the ceremony, they announced not just our names but also details of our theses and achievements. I felt a surge of pride when they mentioned the prize I’d won for my PhD thesis. These moments of recognition, though brief, validated the countless hours of work that went into reaching this point.
The Power of Live Streaming
One modern touch that made the ceremony even more special was the live-streaming service provided by the university. This meant that family and friends from around the world could tune in and share in the moment. Technology brought us together in a way that wouldn’t have been possible just a few years ago, allowing my international family to witness this milestone in real-time.
Creating New Traditions
This graduation marked only my second ceremony attendance out of my five degrees. My first was for my undergraduate degree, which my Dad travelled from Barbados to New York to attend. Looking back at those photos recently with my husband, we reflected on how significant that moment was – being the first in our families to attend university and graduate.
Now, years later, attending my PhD graduation created a beautiful symmetry – bookending my academic journey with celebrations of the first and final degrees. It felt especially poignant to have my children witness this achievement, creating a new academic legacy for our family.
The Emotional Weight of Absence
While the celebration was joyous, there were moments of reflection for those who couldn’t be there. My grandfather, who had attended my first graduation, had passed away years ago. During the celebration dinner in Barbados, we also felt the absence of a dear friend lost the previous year. These bittersweet moments reminded me that our achievements are built on the foundation of support from those who believed in us – both those present and those who’ve sadly passed on.
The PhD Graduation Celebration: A Barbados Gathering I Called ‘The Dr’s In’
The Planning
The celebration didn’t end with the ceremony. Months of planning went into organising a special graduation party in Barbados, coordinated with help from my Mum, Mother-in-law, Aunt, and Godmother. This wasn’t just a dinner – it was a gathering of my village, my support system, the people who had been there throughout my journey.
Again, if you wish to listen to me talk about this on my podcast, I’ve created a 3-part PLOG on this (think vlog but on a podcast). Please feel free to use the player below or tune in to the Mrs Mummy PhD® Podcast wherever you usually get your podcasts. Part 3 of the PhD Graduation PLOG is below:
The Evening
The celebration was everything I could have hoped for and more. My husband served as emcee, delivering a touching speech about the rarity of this achievement for a woman, a mother, and a black woman. Friends who couldn’t attend sent video tributes, their words bringing tears to my eyes as they reflected on our shared journey.
A Family Moment
Perhaps the most touching moment of all was when our three sons delivered their own speech. They had written it themselves, and I heard it for the first time along with everyone else. Even our toddler had his special line at the end! Listening to them express their pride in their Mummy’s achievement made every difficult moment of the PhD journey worth it.
A Note About Self-Celebration
One of my goals for 2024 was to celebrate things more fully, and this graduation experience has reinforced the importance of that decision. As women, and especially as mothers, we often downplay our achievements or skip celebrations in favour of practicality. Looking back, I’m so glad I chose to embrace every aspect of this celebration – from the ceremony to the dinner in Barbados.
PhD Graduation Reflections and Encouragement
Looking back on this entire experience, from preparation to celebration, I’m struck by several key thoughts:
- The Importance of Celebration: Don’t downplay your achievements. As someone who struggles to talk about accomplishments, I’m glad I embraced this opportunity to celebrate properly.
- The Power of Support: Having people in your corner who genuinely want you to succeed makes the journey more manageable. My village – from family to friends to academic colleagues – played a crucial role in my success.
- The Impact on Family: Seeing how proud my children were, reminded me why I persevered through the tough times. They now have a core memory of seeing their Mummy achieve something significant.
- The Value of Planning: From practical arrangements like comfortable shoes to bigger decisions like timing the ceremony, good planning helped everything run smoothly.
A Message to Other Scholarly Mamas
If you’re currently on your PhD journey, especially if you’re juggling it with motherhood, I want you to know that it’s possible. There will be times when you want to give up – I know I did. There will be times when you’ve planned your exit strategy because it all feels too much. But with the right support and approach, you can do this. Remember that it’s okay to feel overwhelmed sometimes. The secret is in recognising that you need support and asking for help. When the time comes for your PhD graduation, take time to plan your celebration and feel proud of your achievements! Remember these practical tips to make the most of your special day:
- Build in buffer time for travel and preparations
- Bring comfortable shoes
- Consider the weather when planning outfits
- Take photos at multiple opportunities
- Include your family in the celebration planning
Building Your Own Support System
If you’re on your PhD journey, especially as a mother, I cannot stress enough the importance of building your support system. This might include:
- Academic peers who understand the unique challenges
- Family members who can provide practical support
- Friends who will cheer you on
- Online communities of others on similar journeys
- Coaches or mentors who can support you through academic challenges
Your support system doesn’t need to look exactly like mine, but having people in your corner makes a world of difference.
Embracing the Journey
As I close this reflection on my PhD graduation journey, I’m reminded that while the ceremony marks the end of one chapter, it’s also the beginning of another. The skills, resilience, and determination developed during the PhD journey continue to shape my approach to new challenges.
To every Scholarly Mama out there pursuing her PhD dreams: your journey is valid, your struggles are real, and your success is possible. Whether you’re in the depths of writing your thesis or preparing for your viva or your own graduation, remember that you’re not just doing this for yourself – you’re showing your children, and the world, what’s possible when you believe in yourself and persist despite the challenges.
And when your day comes to walk across that stage, I hope you’ll celebrate fully, surrounded by your own village of supporters, creating memories that will inspire generations to come. Because while the PhD journey might be individual, the celebration of success is always sweeter when shared.
Remember, your journey is unique, but you’re not alone on this path. Keep going, keep believing, and keep working toward your goals. Your PhD graduation day will come, and when it does, it will be worth every challenge you overcame to get there.
PhD Graduation: Final Thoughts
My PhD graduation wasn’t just a ceremony – it was a celebration of persistence, family support, and academic achievement. It was a moment to thank those who supported me, inspire those coming after me, and acknowledge the magnitude of what I’d accomplished.
For those still on their PhD journey, especially the mamas out there juggling multiple responsibilities, keep going. Your moment will come, and when it does, celebrate it fully. Create those core memories for your children, thank your support system, and take time to acknowledge your achievement.
Remember, this journey is about more than just the certificate – it’s about showing what’s possible, breaking barriers, and creating a legacy that will inspire generations to come. Your PhD journey is unique to you, and your graduation celebration should reflect that.
Whether you’re just starting your PhD journey or approaching your own graduation, remember that you have the power to create your own success story. And when you do, I’ll be cheering you on from the sidelines, just as others cheered me on during my journey.
Remember Mama, these are your journeys of becoming…
Sending you bucket loads of hope, love and gratitude,
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