Updated 3.4.23: I know you’re probably here because you want to know why I started Mrs Mummy PhD!
Before I get into that, I want to thank you for being here. It’s a little surreal for me, knowing that you’re reading my first Mrs Mummy PhD blog post. Believe it or not, this blog is actually one year late!
I originally intended to launch the Mrs Mummy PhD blog at the beginning of 2020. However, as we all know, it turned out to be quite a turbulent year and life got pretty BUSY (understatement).
But I am so glad you’re here.
If you prefer to listen to this as a podcast, please tune in below:
As this is the beginning of my ‘sharing’ journey, I thought it might be nice to begin with an introduction. In this post, I want to explain why I started the Mrs Mummy PhD blog.
I wanted to create an outlet for myself, my own little corner of the internet. A place where I could share my thoughts and experiences as a Scholarly Mama. You know, a way of connecting with others in the same position.
I wanted a space where I would be able to reflect on this journey. A space for deeper insight into who I was and who I was becoming...
This is where my idea for Mrs Mummy PhD was birthed (sorry, I couldn’t resist the pun).
However, given the unexpected events of 2020 (global pandemic and all), launching the blog didn’t quite go to plan.
So here we are one year later!
Birthing the Mrs Mummy PhD Blog
After the 2020 that we all had, I was really looking forward to 2021.
I am not a huge fan of New Year resolutions per se. However, there is no doubt that a new year offers a sense of renewed strength and vigour within, filling hearts with hope and aspiration.
Plus, 2020 was finally in the rear view mirror! Woohoo!
With this in mind, I decided to push myself to finally start the Mrs Mummy PhD blog. This space all about our journeys through marriage, motherhood and academia!
For an introvert like myself, this was no easy undertaking.
However, I knew it would offer the perfect opportunity to write in a new and exciting context.
It would be a platform through which I could share my own journeys of becoming. Of course, in the hope that it would inspire you, to keep pressing on in yours.
I say ‘journeys of becoming‘ because we are all on various journeys of becoming all sorts of things. We’re on journeys of becoming spouses, mothers, academics, entrepreneurs and so much more!
We are constantly evolving and growing into who we were meant to be.
So why put our happiness on hold until we achieve this or that? No thanks, I chose to be happy now.
I believe we can live and learn as much as we can on the journey itself, with joy and purpose. This is so that whenever we arrive at our ‘destination’, we are fully and authentically our whole selves. When we ‘arrive’ there (definitely not a favourite word of mine), we should be fulfilled and appreciative of the lessons learned in the process. We would be empowered to help others through theirs, by sharing our experiences.
I believe this holds true for our academic and career journeys, our motherhood journeys, and our marriage or relationship journeys. It’s also true for our financial journeys, our spiritual journeys, and our entrepreneurial journeys. In fact, it’s true for any journeys we find ourselves on.
These are all journeys of becoming...
And they all carry a part of you…
Who you were yesterday, who you are today and who you will become tomorrow.
As I juggle the demands of my own Mrs Mummy PhD journey, I know that I’m certainly not unique in this.
Exactly the opposite!
I know that you, just like me, probably face countless challenges along your very own journeys of becoming. But you press on anyways.
However, there is comfort in knowing that you are not alone.
It’s why I wanted to build a little, supportive community for Scholarly Mamas, where we could share the highs and lows of our journeys of becoming.
The scarcity of colleagues with similar circumstances was the one thing that became apparent to me on my PhD journey.
Despite the friendly interactions with my fellow researchers who clearly understood the challenges of the PhD grind, as the only one in my circle that was married with kids at home and doing my PhD part-time, I felt like the exception rather than the rule.
And this situation can make us feel isolated in the struggles of finding balance in the chaos, and unable to find mutual, moral support.
No Scholarly Mama should have to feel like this. A PhD journey is isolating enough in itself.
This ignited my determination to share my experiences of seeking joy in the journey holistically. I hope it will offer a sense of hope and inspiration to those who listen or read it.
I’ve accepted that it’s simply not possible for me to devote my every waking thought to my academic journey. This is often the perception to achieve ‘success’. But I am able to reflect deeply on how all areas of my life contribute to who I am becoming.
I am seeing how my circumstances make me a stronger and more well-rounded individual.
Just because I have a family doesn’t mean I can’t do a PhD and just because I am doing a PhD, doesn’t mean my family doesn’t come first!
So here it is.
A blog and platform that talks about being a wife, Mama, and PhD researcher, because let’s face it… real life is multidimensional.
A Little Bit About Me a.k.a Mrs Mummy PhD
As this is my first-ever blog post, I thought I’d use it to share a bit about myself but feel free to head over here to learn more.
I am a daughter of the sunshine, born on the Caribbean island of Barbados, where I lived for my entire childhood and also where I met my wonderful husband.
Together, we are raising our two amazing little heartbeats and are about to welcome our third little heartbeat (in a matter of days, at the time of writing) into our family!
Yes, I am writing this post just a few days before I give birth to our third son – so very exciting days ahead!
As you will come to know, marriage and motherhood are two of my most treasured experiences, more precious than money can ever buy or the most esteemed degree could ever qualify.
Therefore, no matter what I do in life, my priority has, is, and always will be my family.
As a Christian family, our faith is also a significant part of our lives.
But let’s not build a picture of the perfect life here!
As I mentioned, my part-time PhD journey has arguably been one of my most mentally challenging undertakings yet.
But I have accepted this ‘mother of all roller-coasters unsuitable for the fainthearted’ for what it is and have made a conscious decision to work as hard as I can without losing myself and the things most important to me in life, in the process.
The year 2020 has been wrought with challenges for all of us and I am no exception.
From lockdowns, quarantines, and social distancing, to adjusting to homeschooling, online learning, and remote working, disruptions to my PhD research, work challenges, averted travel plans, virtual celebrations, and all of this while being pregnant during a worldwide pandemic! So, although my journeys of becoming so far have not been straightforward ones, I believe that these life experiences (even the difficult ones) have increased my resilience and have certainly sparked a determination to inspire others.
The Mrs Mummy PhD Blog Almost Didn’t Happen
In addition to the disruptions caused by COVID-19, I also faced more intrinsic challenges with starting the blog and platform.
As I initially explored the idea of documenting my Mrs Mummy PhD journey, I thought about what I should discuss.
Who would care to read about it?
Who am I, that anyone would want to read about my journey?
Could I win my internal battle against the perfectionism (yup, still working on that one) that was holding me back?
These questions permeated my thoughts for quite some time. I must admit, because of my intrinsically introverted nature, Mrs Mummy PhD almost didn’t happen.
“You haven’t even finished your PhD yet, so how could you be an inspiration to someone else doing theirs?” I’d ask myself.
Once, I even got as far as brainstorming content ideas! This would have been for whenever the blog eventually happened, in the distant future of course! However, I conveniently abandoned the idea.
I reflect more on ‘holding back’ here.
What I did not consider at that time, was that others could benefit from reading about my journeys of becoming. Knowing that they are not alone in the struggle. Also, I did think about how the benefits could be reciprocated from the experiences they share as well.
In addition, starting this platform could also create a space for support. Sometimes it’s just what one needs on those roller-coaster days! Any mama who is doing a PhD knows very well what I’m talking about here.
Sometimes we put that thing off because we feel we need more and more time to perfect it, or just from a lack of confidence (you know, our old friend – Imposter Syndrome). However, I’ve realised that if I want to inspire others through my evolving narrative, I just have to embrace the uncertainty, and take the plunge right out of my comfort zone!
So here I am.
Likewise, if there is something lingering on your to-do list which you are putting off for the perfect time, or something purposeful which you’re passionate about and you can’t stop thinking about, my advice would be to step out of your comfort zone and just do it!
Even now that I’ve started the Mrs Mummy PhD platform, I have no idea exactly what the outcome will be and where it will take me.
And that’s okay.
The truth is, we are all a working progress, on a continuous journey through which we get to know ourselves better and discover not only our journey so far, and where we want to go, but also how to embrace and enjoy the gift of the present.
In just a few days (at the time of writing), my focus will be even less on my PhD as I welcome our little bundle of joy into the world.
But don’t worry, I will still be adding content geared towards how I navigate the juggle-struggle purposefully, if you are considering doing a PhD or if you’re just at the beginning of your own journeys of becoming!
Maybe This ‘PhD Mama Thing’ Can Still Be Done
Thinking about my PhD journey so far, I can tell you I’ve had my share of challenges… got a few hours? (kidding)
From struggling to find the balance between home life and PhD life, to funding challenges, feeling like a professional imposter, changing supervisors, study recruitment nightmares and so much more.
I have felt like walking away from my PhD a few times on this journey.
But I am still here. Why?
I hope you’ll come back again to find out.
I will share the ‘ups’ of my journey to encourage you but I will share the ‘downs’ for encouragement too because that’s where a lot of my learning has taken place.
At the time of originally writing this (January 2021), I am currently on maternity leave and will be returning to complete my PhD thereafter. I am only just beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel.
Trust me, it’s been a long tunnel!
I realise that this near-the-end-of-the-tunnel stage is not without its challenges either, especially being pregnant in a pandemic. So I appreciate every bit of inspiration I can get, especially after the year 2020 has been.
I am believing that maybe, just maybe, this can still be done!
I wish that for you as well.
In fact, this is precisely why the Mrs Mummy PhD blog was designed!
My hope is that it will be a source of encouragement for us all to keep going when throwing in the towel and changing course seems like a very attractive option.
This is certainly not to say that if you have carefully considered your options and circumstances and conclude that it is the right decision to change direction, that you shouldn’t do just that.
Truth be told, one a scholarly mama, always a scholarly mama (irrespective of where you chose to apply your skills).
In fact, in all cases, my hope is that you will have the strength to do what you must for the sake of your own physical, emotional, and mental well-being. Your loved ones deserve the best version of you, and most importantly, you deserve the best version of yourself.
Over To You
So, now it’s over to you!
How can your own journeys of becoming inspire others around you?
If you’ve been there, done that, and bought the T-shirt, from your personal experience, what words of wisdom could you share with those of us who wear many hats in this scholarly mama life?
Share your experiences in the comments below!
With much love and best wishes,
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