Is a PhD worth it if you’re a Scholarly Mama?
Whether you’re thinking about embarking on this journey or already on it and questioning why, I can assure you that you’re not the only one who’s been here.
In today’s post, I want to talk about whether a PhD is really worth it for Scholarly Mamas.
By the way, if you’d rather listen to this post as a podcast instead, please feel free to use the player below:
I shared in a previous post about how you can transform your Scholarly Mama journey by ensuring that the things that matter to you become non-negotiable.
I also shared in another post about how you can stay motivated to make your dreams a reality. You can check out those two blog posts if you haven’t read them. In today’s blog post, I want to talk about whether a PhD’s worth it for a Scholarly Mama, because reading those two posts, it might give the impression of rigidity and inflexibility.
So, I wanted to share my thoughts on this question, which I get asked very often.
Is a PhD worth it for Scholarly Mamas?
Is a PhD worth it and in particular, is a PhD worth it for Scholarly Mamas?
So if you are running a bit tight on time today, I can give you the short version of the answer: it depends.
But I’m sure that that’s probably left you with more questions than answers. So allow me to elaborate on this topic in today’s post.
Why this is such a hard decision for Scholarly Mamas?
As Scholarly Mamas, of course, we face unique challenges in pursuing a PhD.
There’s no denying that.
There’s no rule book, there’s no map to help us navigate this journey. So while it’s exciting and invigorating, it’s also quite stressful. It’s also quite uncertain because we don’t have a lot of examples of how to navigate this journey.
Having said that, it’s natural for us to explore, in our minds at least, or sometimes even beyond that, whether a PhD is worth it? And, also wondering to yourself, ‘how do I know when it is time to walk away? How do I know when it’s time to quit? You know, should I quit?’
I am not opposed to quitting things that are not for you. This Mama is the last to tell you that you shouldn’t quit something if you have explored your options and you’ve decided that it isn’t for you.
I have quit things many times! I will talk about those things in subsequent posts because I think it’s really important not to give this impression that we never quit anything.
That’s not healthy.
There are times where we have to walk away from certain things. It’s healthy to do that when it’s necessary.
That’s why I wanted to talk about that in this post. I wanted to explore the question of: ‘Is it actually worth it? And when should I walk away? Should I walk away?’
One perspective is not advice!
Of course, everything I share is just simply sharing my experience and my perspective.
This is not advice. I’m not saying that you should or shouldn’t make a particular decision.
My perspective is as a Scholarly Mama myself, of three boys. Two of my children I had during my PhD.
And I’m also saying this from the perspective of doing a PhD part-time alongside part-time work with a very supportive spouse.
I also recognise that these are questions that we all, at some point on this journey of doing a PhD as a Scholarly Mama, ask ourselves, regardless of our circumstances.
Benefits of pursuing a PhD: Is a PhD worth it? The Pros.
So what are the benefits of doing a PhD? You might think that, ‘In order for me to know when to quit, I need to weigh up the pros and cons of this thing!’ (and I don’t blame you!)
So what are the benefits of doing a PhD?
1. Intellectual growth & personal development
Well, the first one is intellectual growth and personal development. This one is indisputable because doing a PhD opens your mind in a way that I don’t think anything else does.
It’s such a unique journey and it’s such a challenging journey. It’s intellectually challenging and stimulating all at once. You become a deep, critical thinker, and I think that’s a good thing. You’re intellectually challenged and develop so many skills along the way. Your entire PhD journey is a journey of personal growth. That has certainly been my experience and honestly, it’s the best thing about this entire journey.
How has it challenged me?
Has it allowed me to grow?
Have I been able to reflect on certain experiences during my PhD?
And how has that taught me and helped me to become a better person?
Intellectual growth and personal development are certainly benefits of doing a PhD, for sure.
2. Enhanced career opportunties
The second benefit of doing a PhD is that it can enhance your career opportunities.
So even though I’ve not finished my PhD (thanking God that I’m nearly there…), I can see from my colleagues how a PhD has the potential to create a world of opportunity on the career front. I’ve had people I know who have been promoted within their particular fields simply by doing a PhD. [Update: I’ve completed my PhD since writing this post which you can read more about here].
However, when people say that having a PhD hasn’t helped their career prospects, it’s likely because they’re confining themselves to the scarcity mindset of the academic bubble.
I know many people who have used their PhDs to climb career and entrepreneurial ladders of all kinds, both in and beyond academia.
So the key, I think, is to think outside of the box and to remain purposeful in all things.
3. Contributing to knowledge and academia
The next benefit I think of pursuing a PhD is contributing to knowledge and academia.
By doing a PhD, you have actually accomplished this (or well on your way).
You’ve made (or are making) a novel contribution to a body of literature. Whether you decide to stay in academia or not after your PhD, it doesn’t mean that your contribution wasn’t (or won’t be) still valuable.
You have made (or are making) a contribution to knowledge, and I think that should be celebrated no matter what.
4. Role modelling for your children
The fourth benefit of doing a PhD is role modelling for your children.
This one is huge!
I’ve talked about this before, I believe, in my post with my raw reflections after submitting my thesis. As a Scholarly Mama pursuing such a big goal as a PhD, something so huge as a PhD while mothering, by doing this, you are literally showing your kids what’s possible.
I believe you are literally showing your kids what’s possible. Yes Mama, you too can do it!
Whether they decide to follow suit or not in the future (they may not want to do a PhD) doesn’t really matter. That’s irrelevant because the real value is in your example, that is where the value is. It’s in your example of pursuing something that was really hard and showing your kids that it’s possible to do hard things and that they shouldn’t be afraid of tackling challenging things or having a challenging experience. With them seeing you do it, you are showing them what’s possible and you’re showing them that through your example.
Challenges Faced by Academic Mothers: Is a PhD Worth It? The Cons.
It’s not all peaches and roses, is it?
We are not here to glorify doing a PhD.
We need to consider what the challenges faced by academic mothers. These are mothers who are literally trying to raise their kids, and not just raise them by doing the bare minimum, but actually being present for their family. Actually enjoying being a Mum. Actually enjoying the time that they have with their kids. I think that’s really important.
But again, that’s my perspective.
So I just wanted to talk about the challenges that are faced by academic mothers.
1. Balancing the demands of motherhood and PhD responsibilities
So the obvious balancing the demands of motherhood and PhD responsibilities.
This is huge!
I don’t think that it’s even possible to quantify how hard, this juggle-struggle can be trying to be a present Mum. When you’re trying to be involved in your children’s lives and their activities and their milestones and what they’re doing and just being present and available; emotionally available and mentally available to their needs – it’s challenging.
I think that is so hard to balance the demands, the sometimes unrealistic demands, of doing a PhD and keeping up with deadlines, literature, getting your study underway, dealing with the ethics and all the other administrative things that come with doing empirical research and just writing the thesis! Oh my goodness, that’s incredibly difficult to do, especially if you are working as well. It’s a huge undertaking that is really, really hard to do.
So, balancing the demands of motherhood and PhD responsibilities is definitely right up there at the top of challenges faced by academic mothers.
2. Limited time for self-care and relaxation
The next pretty obvious challenge faced by Scholarly Mamas who are trying to navigate the juggle-struggle of PhD life and motherhood, is having limited time for self-care and relaxation. This is huge.
This is so huge as well because the PhD feels sometimes feels relentless. Honestly, it’s almost like having a huge monster that you need to keep feeding, and if it doesn’t get fed, it just roars and roars and you have to feed it again and feed it again.
It’s a little bit like that.
As a Mum, this is where you really have to be so intentional. This is where you have to say, ‘Actually, nope, I am not gonna keep feeding this monster at the expense of my well-being and my self-care and my mental rest’.
It’s no always about physical rest. Yes, physical rest is very important, but I think mental rest is equally as important when you’re doing a PhD. It’s important to take some time back from that and just do things that bring you pure joy and relaxation. It will allow you to just clear your mind before you come back at it.
I think having limited time to do that is what makes the journey difficult, because you don’t have this abundance of leisure time to just say ‘I’ll just have a spa day’ or ‘I’ll just have a nap’. Because it’s not necessarily an abundance of time for self-care and relaxation.
3. The emotional toll of guilt and self-doubt
The other challenge faced by Scholarly Mamas when doing a PhD is the emotional toll of guilt and self-doubt.
Honestly, I cannot even tell you the toll of guilt.
You’ve got the Mum guilt because you constantly feel torn between PhD responsibilities, deadlines, and all of that. Then you need the writing and thinking time. Then the things that you want to do with your kids.
You feel the mum guilt.
Then you feel the PhD guilt.
You feel all of the types of guilt you can think of, absolutely all of them!
Then you begin to ask, ‘Why on earth am I doing this? What am I doing? Do I need to be doing this?’
You also then feel like a complete imposter in all of the spaces that you occupy. You think you’re not a good enough Mum, you think you’re not a good enough PhD student, and the list goes on. So that is definitely a challenge faced by Scholarly Mamas.
4. Financial considerations
Then of course, the final one is financial considerations.
Quite often doing a PhD can be a significant financial undertaking, and it’s not just in the cost of doing the PhD, but also there’s a bigger question here as well, that there is also an opportunity cost of doing a PhD as a Scholarly Mama.
Not only from the perspective of the fact that you’re caught up in years and years of doing research and not necessarily reaching your full earning potential during that time, but also, if you are putting your kids and your family and the things that you love and self-care and all of that, plus your own wellbeing, on the back burner while you are doing this PhD, surely there’s a cost to other aspects of your life, which could then have some financial repercussions. So if you don’t look after yourself, you may end up not being well and not being able to work anywhere afterwards or even during your PhD! And so there are definitely some financial considerations to take into account as academic mamas doing PhDs.
I should also point out that some PhDs, even when they are paid, are paid by very small stipends and these are not stipends that you can (comfortably) live off of (especially while raising a family).
I was very blessed (and I say this with the humblest humblest gratitude) to have a salaried PhD as opposed to a stipend PhD. So I think that it is something to consider if you’re at the point of considering doing a PhD to think about whether there are some financial avenues that you can use to obtain your PhD without a significant financial outlay on your part.
It’s definitely something to consider.
Evaluating the worth of a PhD: is it really worth it?
Okay, so, so how then do we evaluate the worth of a PhD?
How then do you navigate this juncture of ‘Is a PhD worth it and should I be doing this or should I not consider doing a PhD?’
How do you navigate that?
1. Clarify your personal goals and aspirations
The first thing I think you should do in evaluating the worth of a PhD is to clarify your personal goals and aspirations. Here are two things to consider to help you do this:
a. Identify your motivations behind pursuing a PhD
What are your personal motivations behind pursuing a PhD?
Deep down inside, why are you doing the PhD?
What is your ‘why’?
Let that, why help you in navigating this juncture.
This is different for everybody, so it’s not a matter of saying, that’s not a good ‘why’, and ‘that’s not a good reason to do a PhD’.
It differs for everyone, and we are not in the business of casting judgment about why people are doing PhDs or why they’re not doing PhDs.
However, that is definitely one way to help you clarify your personal goals and aspirations and help you evaluate whether doing a PhD is for you or not.
b. Assess the alignment of your goals with the requirements and expectations of a PhD
The second is assessing the alignment of your goals with the requirements and expectations of a PhD.
What are your life goals?
Where do you see yourself in five years, in 10 years?
And is a PhD part of that?
Also, is it required to get you there?
Do you need to do a PhD in order to accomplish those goals?
In other words, in the pursuit of those goals is a PhD required?
That’s definitely something to consider because if you do not need to do a PhD, or if it does not align with the long-term goals that you have, you might consider that it’s not worth it to do a PhD. But if it does align with your long-term goals, let’s say for example, you want to become a professor working in academia, you might decide that actually, ‘This PhD is the only way that I could do that, and so maybe I do need to do a PhD and it is worth it for me to do a PhD.’
2. Weighing up the benefits and challenges
The second point in helping you to evaluate whether doing a PhD is worth it, is to weigh the benefits against the cost. Here are two things to consider to help you do this:
a. Explore the potential long-term academic and professional benefits
The first is to explore the potential long-term benefits in the academic and professional realm.
What are the benefits of doing this PhD for your professional career?
In terms of your professional future, what are the benefits?
If there are significant benefits, then perhaps a PhD may be worth it for you.
If, however, you can progress within your professional realm without needing a PhD, then perhaps you may decide, actually, I don’t need to pursue a PhD.
b. Consider the impact on your personal well-being and family dynamics
Secondly, consider the impact on your personal well-being and family dynamics.
And of course this is central for us as Scholarly Mamas, because as I mentioned earlier, there is an impact on personal wellbeing and also potentially, on family dynamics.
You need to weigh up whether that is worth it for you.
Are you willing to make sacrifices in those areas for the sake of your PhD, or are you unwilling to make sacrifices in those areas for the sake of your PhD?
Is there a way that you can navigate both of these journeys without them compromising each other?
That middle ground is where I found myself. I thought, ‘Actually, I do want to do my PhD. But I don’t want to do that ever, ever at the expense of my family life and my family dynamics, because that is a non-negotiable for me!’
So, think about the impact on your personal wellbeing and your family dynamics.
Let that help you to decide whether the benefits of doing a PhD outweigh the challenges of doing a PhD.
3. Seek support and feedback
The third tip to help you evaluate the worth of a PhD for you is to seek support and feedback. Here are two ways you can do this:
a. Utilise mentorship opportunities
You may have access within your university to mentorship opportunities and networking opportunities.
I have had professional mentors for many years throughout my PhD journey, and I have found them to be absolutely invaluable. Being able to speak to people who have done what you’re doing, and particularly people who have navigated those journeys as a Mama, I think has been so important.
I’ve had wonderful examples and wonderful mentors who have done this and it was honestly a lifeline for me during my PhD.
Speaking to people who have done this successfully, who have shown me that it’s possible to do that, but who have not done so at the expense of their role as a Mum but who were still able to be a present Mum for their kids, I found that invaluable!
Those were the examples I needed, having been in a position where I didn’t have that example in my own family. I don’t have anybody in my family who has done a PhD or even in my inner friendship circle really, who’s done a PhD.
Having those mentors were pivotal in giving me tips, and in showing me by their example, whether I could see a way through this, was really important. So, if you do have access to mentors, definitely tap into those because it will help you to decide through the support and feedback that they can offer, whether a PhD is worth it for you.
b. Engage with academic and personal communities for support and perspective
The second thing I wanted to mention around seeking support and feedback is to engage with academic and personal communities for support and perspective.
This is the primary reason why I have founded our community called Scholarly Mamas. It’s because I feel there is power and value in navigating this juggle-struggle as a community and not suffering in silence, not suffering alone.
Our community is literally a safe space where you can seek mentorship, see examples, watch other people, and see how they’ve managed some of these junctures and how they’ve navigated them. We will support each other in doing so.
Engaging with a community like Scholarly Mamas will help you to have that varied perspective because there may be people who have navigated that journey and decided, ‘Actually, that’s no longer for me..’, or ‘This is why I’d made that decision’.
Or, there may be people who have navigated that journey and have decided, ‘You know what? This is how I was able to do it…’.
Obviously everyone’s circumstances are different, but by seeing other people, communicating and just interacting with other people who are also navigating this journey will help you to evaluate for your own self what the worth of a PhD is to you.
Is a PhD worth it – what are the signs that it is time to walk away?
So, what are the signs that it is time to walk away?
Obviously that’s not a question that some people may ask themselves because they may come to the conclusion that, ‘Actually, this PhD is completely worth it and I am going to stick it out to the end’. Others may be deciding, ‘You know what, I think maybe it’s time for me to walk away’.
But how do you know?
1. You are persistently unhappy and dissatisfied
So, I would say that (and again, this is personal experience, not advice) if you are persistently unhappy and dissatisfied with what you are doing in your PhD, or your journey or some element of it, then I think that it’s perfectly normal to question whether it’s time to walk away.
If you’re persistently unhappy and dissatisfied, you may be having an extreme physical or mental health strain, and in that case it might be that you decide, ‘You know what? Nope. This is not for me. This is a wellbeing decision. I am making a wellbeing decision and I am going to walk away from this PhD’.
I think that’s a very strong and noble thing to do because you are making that decision for yourself. Literally, for yourself.
2. There is a lack of progress and passion
Perhaps there’s a lack of progress and a diminishing passion for your PhD topic.
Maybe, at the beginning you thought, ‘Yep, this is going to change the world. I love this topic. I cannot wait to get started on this PhD’.
And then you might decide, ‘Actually, I’m not making any progress with my PhD’.
One of the things to think about here is that sometimes walking away from something doesn’t mean that you are walking away permanently. It might mean that it’s not the right time for you at the minute to do that thing. But experiencing something like a lack of progress or diminishing passion could be an indicator that it’s not the right time to pursue your PhD. And in that case, you might think it’s time to walk away, even if that means just temporarily. Doesn’t have to be forever. It might just mean that for now at this moment in time, this isn’t necessarily the path to be on.
3. Unable to maintain a healthy work-life blend
Another point to consider is whether you feel it’s impossible to maintain a healthy work-life blend.
This is one of the biggest challenges that we face as Scholarly Mamas because we are constantly juggling. I refer to this a lot as the juggle-struggle, because it’s certainly not a walk in the park.
It’s not an easy ride.
We are literally, day to day, having to make decisions and daily choices about whether we want to take a break and spend time with our family, look after our well-being, or whether we push through to a deadline, or write another few paragraphs for a chapter.
It’s a constant juggle.
And of course, you’ve got the pressures of deadlines and the like on top of it, so, if you find yourself in a position where you are unable to maintain a healthy work-life blend, where you are able to juggle your family life and your PhD life, maybe for you, it might be time to walk away.
Strategies for making a decision on whether a PhD is worth it
So, what are the strategies for making a decision?
1. Reflect on your priorities and values
First strategy: consider reflection. I’m a huge fan of reflection, as you know. So a good place to start is to reflect on your priorities and values. What do you care about?
What matters to you?
You need to get very, very clear on that because it’s no good making a decision, by choosing one thing and neglecting something else that is on the top of your priority list.
So get very clear on that.
What are your priorities?
What do you value?
2. Consult with mentors, advisors and trusted individuals
Another strategy for making a decision like this is to consult with mentors and advisors and trusted individuals.
I mentioned earlier the invaluable role of really good mentors who can guide you and help you in times of need. You know, the people who have been there, done that, bought the T-shirt and sold it!
These are the people you want in your circle. You want people in your circle who get what you’re going through, who understand the juggle-struggle, who have been there themselves, and who have navigated it in one way or another, and who are willing to share with you what they did, how they did it, what worked and what didn’t work.
To have such people in your circle is invaluable in allowing you and showing you strategies for making a decision about the worth of a PhD for yourself.
3. Explore alternative paths and career options
The next strategy for making a decision about whether you want to pursue a PhD or not might be exploring alternative paths and career options.
When you know what your options are, you’re very clear on what else you can do, if you do decide to walk away from your PhD, it allows you to make a firm, informed decision, rather than walking away into a sea of ‘limbo’ because that’s not gonna help you with making a decision.
Having informal chats with people who are doing alternative careers that you may want to consider might be a good option to give you some insight into what their day-to-day work life is like?
Find out more about what they do for their jobs?
Is that something that aligns with your own talents, interests, skills, and goals?
Do you see yourself in those alternative paths or career options?
Exploring those alternatives may be a good way of helping you to make a decision on whether a PhD is worth it for you or not.
4. Weigh up potential regrets
Finally, weighing up the potential regrets of quitting versus the potential regrets of continuing.
Whether you quit or whether you continue, you will have some feelings about it.
You will have feelings about this, guaranteed.
You won’t be able to quit and walk away from anything without feeling some kind of doubt.
‘Did I make the right decision?’
‘Is this the right choice for me?’
‘Was it a huge mistake to quit?’
‘Should I have stayed?’
Or if you decide to stay… you may wonder, ‘Should I have quit? Was this a complete waste of time?’
You will have feelings about it either way.
Weighing up the potential regrets (whether those feelings turn into regrets or not is another question) of quitting versus continuing is a strategy that will help you to make a decision as to whether you wish to continue or whether you want to walk away from your PhD.
Conclusion of the matter
Mama, I just wanted to just encourage you, if you are in the position where you’re asking yourself this question of, ‘Is a PhD worth it?’ I want you to consider all of those points you’ve discussed:
- The benefits of doing the PhD. What are they?
- The challenges faced by Scholarly Mamas doing PhDs. Am I willing to pay the costs of doing a PhD?
- Evaluate the worth of a PhD for yourself as a Scholarly Mama. How can I do this? What are my own goals and aspirations? How can I seek support and feedback and weighing the benefits against the challenges?
- How do I know when it’s time to walk away? What has been my experience so far and is it fulfilling my expectations of what this journey would have been like?
- What strategies can I use and employ to help me to make a decision about whether to continue doing a PhD or not?
So these are the sort of things that you can do to help you come to that conclusion.
So is a PhD worth it?
I can’t say whether or not I think a PhD is worth it for you, or for anyone else.
I think that’s such an individual decision and one that should be made without judgment.
Without judgment of what other people are doing, and without guilt about the decision that you are making for yourself.
So I just wanted to reinforce the importance of self-reflection and also the importance of seeking support on this journey.
You don’t have to navigate this journey alone!
I also mentioned mentors and the importance of navigating this journey as a community.
So on that note, I’m so excited about launching Scholarly Mamas! I cannot wait to welcome our Founding Members into Scholarly Mamas very soon.
We would love to invite you if you want to be a part of our supportive community, where you can share your own experiences, support other Scholarly Mamas and navigate this journey together.
This is my personal invitation to you to join Scholarly Mamas!
You can join our waitlist and when we launch officially, you could be literally already embedded in our community because if you are going to join us as a Founding Member, you will get to join our community first!
I cannot wait to meet you and welcome you if that’s something that sounds like it aligns with where you are at the minute.
Complex journeys, complex decisions!
The other thing I wanted to summarise before we finish up was to acknowledge the complexity of making a decision like this.
There is complexity in deciding for yourself whether a PhD is worth it.
It’s a very individual decision and a very difficult and complex one, especially as a Scholarly Mama, because this is not just you deciding to pursue or not pursue something. This is you actually making a huge decision for your future and your children’s future.
As a Scholarly Mama, when you do have this question come up, ‘Is a PhD worth it?’, I just wanted to reiterate that this is not an easy decision and you shouldn’t expect too much of yourself when you are having to navigate junctures like these.
It’s completely normal to question these things.
It’s completely normal to ask and wonder whether doing this PhD is worth it as a Scholarly Mama. And so I just wanted to encourage you as Scholarly Mamas to make a decision that aligns with your personal wellbeing and your long-term goals.
So is it a yay or nay?
There is no right or wrong to the question of, ‘Is a PhD worth it for a Scholarly Mama‘?
It’s very individual, but I hope that by talking through some of these points today, it’s helped you to reach a point where you can feel empowered to make whatever decision is right for you.
The decision of whether to pursue a PhD is highly personal and depends on your individual circumstances.
This post was really to provide some guidance and support on how you might go about considering this question, but ultimately only you can determine what’s best for you and your family.
I wish you the very best in making the decision that’s right for you, and if you want to be a part of our amazing community, I would love to see you on the inside.
Until next time, I am sending you lots of love and lots of gratitude.
Remember, Mama, these are our journeys of becoming!
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