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Mrs Mummy PhD

Journeys of Becoming...

Why It’s Time to Stop Navigating PhD Motherhood Alone

December 26, 2024 · PhD & Beyond

When you’re navigating PhD motherhood, there’s a common belief that isolation is inevitable. After all, who else truly understands the unique challenges of writing a PhD thesis while managing family life? This was exactly what I was thinking recently, standing in my hotel room at an international conference, gazing out at a breathtaking panoramic view.

Picture this: You’re standing in a beautiful, modern hotel room on the 31st floor in an iconic North American city, gazing out at this breathtaking panoramic view. The pristine lake stretches before you, boats gracefully sailing by, while the sun paints the sky in brilliant colours during its daily rise and fall. It’s an introverted Scholarly Mama’s paradise – peaceful, quiet, and seemingly perfect.

But here’s what I’ve learned about navigating a PhD journey as a Mama: even the most perfect isolation isn’t enough.

By the way, if you prefer to listen to this topic as a podcast, please feel free to use the player below or tune in wherever you usually get your podcasts:

The Common Pitfalls of Navigating PhD Motherhood Alone

Let’s be honest – when you begin your doctoral journey with kids in tow, going solo can feel like the natural choice. Nobody in your immediate circle truly gets what it’s like to:

  • Switch between academic writing and bedtime stories
  • Balance research deadlines with school runs
  • Maintain academic focus while managing family responsibilities
  • Find time for deep thinking between parenting duties

So you keep to yourself, creating what seems like an efficient system. You struggle along in solitude, convinced that this is just what navigating PhD Motherhood should look like. But this approach often comes at a cost:

  • Missing opportunities for collaborative growth
  • Sacrificing the joy of shared achievements
  • Carrying an unnecessarily heavy emotional and mental load

Why Solo Navigation Gets Harder, Not Easier

Here’s what many don’t realise about navigating PhD motherhood: the path gets lonelier and more challenging when we insist on doing it alone. You’re exploring uncharted territory – a journey that relatively few have travelled before. Without companions on this path:

  • Small obstacles can feel like mountains
  • Victories can feel hollow without shared celebration
  • The weight of both roles becomes increasingly heavy
  • Innovation and creative solutions become limited to your own perspective

The Transform Power of Connection in PhD Motherhood

During my recent conference experience, I experienced a lightbulb moment (or a few, but hey, who’s counting eh?). Despite the prestigious speaking opportunity and luxury accommodation, the most valuable aspect wasn’t the formal proceedings – it was the connections I made with fellow attendees. This mirrors what I’ve learned about successfully navigating PhD motherhood.

When intelligent individuals working independently come together in shared spaces, something magical happens. For those navigating PhD motherhood, these connections provide practical strategies from others who’ve faced similar challenges, emotional support from those who truly understand, and opportunities for collaboration that enrich both academic and personal life.

Essential Strategies for Navigating PhD Motherhood Successfully

Based on both personal experience and supporting other Scholarly Mamas on their journeys, here are key approaches for a better approach:

  1. Find Your Community: Seek spaces specifically designed for PhD mothers, like our unique Scholarly Mamas community. We understand the unique challenges of navigating PhD motherhood and would love for you to join us.
  2. Embrace Co-working Opportunities: Whether virtual or in-person, working alongside others in similar situations can provide motivation and accountability. This is why we offer co-working opportunities inside Scholarly Mamas FOCUS.
  3. Build Strategic Connections: Focus on quality over quantity. When navigating PhD motherhood, even a few meaningful connections can make a significant difference.
  4. Stay True to Your Style: Whether you’re introverted or extroverted, find ways to connect that align with your natural preferences.

The Benefits of Shared Navigation

When you connect with other Scholarly Mamas, you gain access to a network of mothers who understand the complexities of navigating PhD Motherhood. These connections offer more than just practical support – they provide a shared understanding of the unique challenges and triumphs that come with pursuing academic excellence while raising a family.

Creating Your Support System

Successfully navigating PhD motherhood doesn’t mean fundamentally changing who you are. Instead, it’s about:

  • Finding the right support network that understands your journey
  • Creating connections that energise rather than drain you
  • Building relationships that enhance both your academic and family life
  • Developing strategies that work for your unique situation

The Impact of Community on Your Journey

Think of navigating PhD Motherhood like sailing across that lake I mentioned earlier. Sure, you could do it alone – many have. But having a crew who understands the waters, can spot approaching storms, and celebrates your progress makes the journey not just easier, but more enjoyable.

Your experience in navigating PhD Motherhood doesn’t have to be a solitary path or juggle-struggle. While the initial appeal of going it alone might be strong, the right connections can transform your journey from survival to success.

Taking the Next Step in Navigating PhD Motherhood

If you’re currently navigating PhD Motherhood alone and feeling the weight of isolation, know that there’s another way. Consider:

  • Joining our supportive community designed specifically for mothers on doctoral journeys
  • Participating in our co-working sessions inside Scholarly Mamas FOCUS
  • Hiring a coach who has successfully navigated this path and who truly gets it
  • Building connections with others at similar stages in their journey

Remember, the goal isn’t just to complete your PhD – it’s to thrive while navigating PhD Motherhood in a way that honours both your academic ambitions and your family life. Sometimes, the best navigation strategy is simply allowing others to join you on the journey.

Your path in navigating PhD motherhood is unique, but that doesn’t mean you have to walk it alone. After all, the most successful journeys often involve a supportive community that understands both the challenges and the triumphs along the way.

How is your PhD motherhood journey going? Are you navigating it alone or have you joined our community? Share your experiences in the comments below – your story might be exactly what another Scholarly Mama needs to hear.

Remember Mama, these are our journeys of becoming…

Until next time, I’m sending you lots of love and gratitude,

Mrs Mummy PhD Signature

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Meet Mrs Mummy PhD®

Hey Mama! I'm Dr Michelle Gibbs and this little corner of the internet exists to help ambitious women like you, achieve your lofty goals without sacrificing what matters most. If you're juggling a family, career, scholarly journey and everything else in-between, then this space is for you! It's time to flourish on purpose, with less hustle and more harmony. So Mama, are you in? Fabulous! Let's begin. These are our journeys of becoming :-)

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It’s the becoming, the growth, the evolution…👇🏽 T It’s the becoming, the growth, the evolution…👇🏽

This kind of freedom is priceless✨

To know oneself, to know one’s worth, to be able to embody grit & grace without the grind, to have clarity of purpose, to transform one’s PhD Motherhood journey it into something incredibly purposeful and beautiful… they offer the kind of joy that no one can take away.

So the next time you feel like you can’t do this without unpardonable sacrifice or without losing yourself in the process, remember that you can still pause to BE and success can still be yours regardless of the many other hats your wear.

Mama, these are our journeys of becoming 🦋
Growing up on a tiny Caribbean island, I had big d Growing up on a tiny Caribbean island, I had big dreams as a little girl, but there were no guarantees because options were limited.

Fast forward several decades and that little girl moved countries twice, married her high-school sweetheart, became an RD with 5 degrees, including her PhD, and had 3 amazing sons (+2 angel babies).

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My PhD was the hardest thing I’d ever done, especially as wife and mother. Honestly, there were many moments I wanted to give up — nights when the weight of it all felt heavy, and the finish line felt out of reach. I often questioned if I could really see it through…

But then… there was him… My husband, my anchor, my ride or die guy — the quiet strength who held me when I wanted to let go. When I doubted myself, he reminded me who I was. He carried what I couldn’t, so I could keep pursuing my career dreams.

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There were tears, prayers, and moments of doubt — but love kept me steady, faith kept me grounded, and family gave me purpose. I realised that love and ambition aren’t opposite ends of the spectrum, but they’re threads that can weave together into something extraordinary.

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what is success if you have no one to share it with?

That PhD began as my dream — but it became our journey. Built on faith, held by love, and made real by the people who never let me forget why I began. 

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Tag all the @scholarlymamas who need to know that their dreams are possible too!

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Keep going Mama, cheering you on all the way to Dr [you]!

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You’ve been trying to do it all — be the perfect s You’ve been trying to do it all — be the perfect scholar, the present mama, the one who “proves them wrong.”

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